I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Fuck appropriateness.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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