your thong is hanging out like whoa
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
