office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
