i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
