I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
