Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We are all done wearing pants today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
