You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
