So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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