Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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