Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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