I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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