I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
