on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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