Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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