dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I miss vodka workout Fridays
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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