I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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