Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
