phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My vagina just recognized that song.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.