it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.