Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...

Fav 19 2864 829
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

Fav 24 4854 809
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

Fav 128 1700 35717
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

Fav 28 4232 882
share tweet
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

Fav 20 6767 1360
share tweet
(226): View more from Ontario

I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

Fav 20 4996 1985
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

Fav 8 1252 3401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(862): View more from New Jersey

This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

Fav 6 1641 485
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.

Fav 2 632 280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT