woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?