I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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