Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize