he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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