Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it