Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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  (910): too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time. http://tfl.nu/w0g5
  Replies (17) Good night (4417) Bad night (817)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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  (201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas
  Replies (40) Good night (811) Bad night (4353)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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  (305): Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere. http://tfl.nu/rhba
  Replies (22) Good night (1381) Bad night (6838)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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  (651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx
  Replies (215) Good night (1122) Bad night (3872)
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  (347): View more from New York

  today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

  (917): View more from New York City

  it's sad that this is a milestone

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  (347): today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud (917): it's sad that this is a milestone http://tfl.nu/b89x
  Replies (11) Good night (1914) Bad night (2732)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

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  (937): I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him. http://tfl.nu/k4ub
  Replies (21) Good night (4169) Bad night (1929)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me

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  (847): cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me http://tfl.nu/qd03
  Replies (44) Good night (1510) Bad night (5941)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had to coat check the pizza.

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  (514): We had to coat check the pizza. http://tfl.nu/aa4o
  Replies (3) Good night (3189) Bad night (1180)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes

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  (702): Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes http://tfl.nu/n4pv
  Replies (11) Good night (3876) Bad night (1087)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.

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  (201): This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag. http://tfl.nu/iwnq
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (1302)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

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  (502): Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer. http://tfl.nu/e067
  Replies (11) Good night (1467) Bad night (1108)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

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  (647): Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward http://tfl.nu/5pol
  Replies (7) Good night (1603) Bad night (814)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas

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  (716): Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas http://tfl.nu/5ka8
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (959)
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  (914): View more from New York

  this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

  (845): View more from New York

  you are a goddess

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  (914): this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment. (845): you are a goddess http://tfl.nu/5u6j
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (311)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.

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  (+44): I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things. http://tfl.nu/azn2
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (298)

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