He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
These tits shall not be calmed