ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Toronto

  I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it

  Fav 32 4647 2200

  share tweet
  

• (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

  Fav 8 1113 5188

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.

  Fav 20 2761 4999

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"

  Fav 8 4775 1984

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.

  Fav 9 5779 1171

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

  Fav 8 1171 2498

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

  Fav 5 3411 1160

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

  Fav 19 3474 1398

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if you just come over, i will entertain you

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment

  Fav 5 1056 1559

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

  Fav 4 737 1690

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.

  Fav 12 3128 875

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

  Fav 8 1386 715

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

  Fav 3 917 610

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

  Fav 2 1136 763

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning

  Fav 0 617 446

  share tweet
  

Randomize