I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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