508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
