ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
