I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
