if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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