She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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