you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize