; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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