cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize