She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize