my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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