Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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