He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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