Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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