i jhust puked up my retainher.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
