This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
