My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
