; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
