Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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