I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
