sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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