my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
