Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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