fuck your aforementioned shoe
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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