make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
