Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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