Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
