please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
