I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
