So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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