Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
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I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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