I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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