dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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