once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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