Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
