Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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