And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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