My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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