you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
