I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
