there was a trapeze. enough said
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
