enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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