That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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